Harris Beach Bums

2012-01-31T20:52:00.000-08:00

Formally announcing our two little gifts from heaven.

11.28.11 4:16am Levi Ryan Harris 3lbs 6oz 17in

11.28.11 4:19am Caleb Ryan Harris 3lbs 2oz 16in

photos by Kelli Salter

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Twins

2012-01-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

Photos by Kelli Salter

Umm . . . I think this twin thing is going to be kinda fun :)

Stay tuned for more living . . .

The End of Something Can Be a Good Thing . . .

2012-01-18T13:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes the end can lead to great beginnings.

I am sooooo happy to say it is the end of the NICU for us, and I am bursting to announce the beginning of our family life with the twins.

Let the chaos begin!

Our driving back and forth from home to the NICU, never ending pumping to keep my milk supply up, guilt from leaving our girls over and over again to go to the hospital, guilt from not spending enough time at the NICU with the boys, and the stress of watching the monitors beep and flash when one or both boys heart rate and oxygen saturation would drop is now over!

No more!

Finished!

Done!

Here's how it all went down . . .

Levi was doing so great, the Dr. took his feeding tube out and told us to prepare for his homecoming in a couple of days but...

that night he started having a lot of bradycardia episodes and would need to be in the NICU for a while longer. We thought he was slowing down so his little brother had a chance to catch up.

Caleb took the chance and ran with it. He actually pulled his feeding tube out himself and came home 4 days later.

We put them together one last time in the NICU

Caleb's bassinet is all stripped clean while Levi on the left was left behind.

Because the girls were under 18 and it was flu season, they weren't allowed to see the twins in the NICU. After over a month and a half of waiting, they finally met their brother Caleb for the first time.

It was love at first sight!

They took him hiking, gave him a bath and showered him with loves and kisses.

3 days later, to our surprise Levi progressed enough to join his brother at home. . .

with his sisters.

We are one big happy family with a lot of diapers, laundry and love!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Back In My Arms

2011-12-11T16:05:00.001-08:00

Caleb

They can wear clothes now!!

Levi

Caleb

Brothers

Back in my arms.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

10 Days Old

2011-12-08T11:18:00.001-08:00

Ok, so I thought I was going to be alright leaving my boys in good hands at the NICU while coming home to recuperate. I'm not going to lie, it was not easy. Granted I have a lot of hormones going on, it just didn't feel right to leave the hospital, no longer pregnant, without my babies. It took me back to that place where I had to leave Max at the hospital . . . not a good place. I had a lot going on around me and in my mind when I got home but was so happy to wake up with a clear mind knowing that life is amazing and incredible and we are truly blessed. I have one boy in Heaven looking down and watching over us, two boys getting excellent care at the NICU, two girls who bring us so much happiness and adventure, and a husband who loves me.

Ryan and I are visiting the boys for about five hours a day; where we are now able to hold, change diapers, and help out the nursing staff with whatever they need. We are so excited to say, thanks to prayers, modern technology and medicine, that the boys are doing amazing! They are no longer on oxygen or forced air, they are accepting their food through a tube that goes in their nose to their stomachs and are now off their IV's. Caleb's weight had dropped to 2lbs 14oz but is now tied with Levi at 3lbs 5oz. Pretty soon they will just be tiny regular newborns.

Just as I was getting settled into the routine of "visiting" my boys and being at home to take care of my girls, I woke up to conjunctivitis (Pink Eye), yuck! The NICU is a very sterile place and my heart fell with the fear of not being able to visit my boys. I called the nurse, who talked with the Dr. and she told me, in a nice way, that I wasn't allowed to enter the NICU and would not be able to see or hold my sons. I had to hurry and get off the phone so I didn't break down on the phone. It's been 3 days now without seeing them. Sometimes you have to search for that happy place to go to when it's not right in front of you. I've been doing a lot of searching :) I am feeling better and will probably look back and not even remember this short time with out seeing my little guys. In the meantime, I am so happy they are doing so well in the NICU.

Caleb

Levi

Ryan is a natural at this.

Caleb

... And this.

Levi

He's super grumpy that his mom isn't there :)

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Day 4

2011-12-02T12:59:00.001-08:00

Today is the day I leave my boys at the hospital and go home to my girls. It's bitter sweet. Levi is doing better today but still a bit behind Caleb. I think this whole process is going to be filled with ups and downs. Good thing we are kind of used to that :) Below are some great "up's" of the day. Stay tuned for more living . . .

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Caleb

The NICU nurse is handing Caleb to me for some snuggle time.

Caleb

Me and my little guy.

Levi

Levi is all wrapped up and snug as a bug getting ready to be held by his dad for the first time.

Levi

He looks happy about it.

Ryan and Levi

So sweet.

Day 2

2011-12-01T03:52:00.001-08:00

Day 2

Caleb and Levi have now switched roles. They are both breathing without intubation ( the tube down their throats) but Levi is struggling without the assisted help of oxygen an airflow. I was able to hold Caleb. It felt like I was placing a piece of my heart back into place that I never knew was gone and now I don't want to live without. They are still very very small and need so much help but I feel confident in the NICU staff that they will do everything possible to care for our boys.

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Thank you for all of the prayers our way. Keep them coming! :)Stay tuned for more living . . .

Our Boys!!

2011-11-29T07:36:00.001-08:00

Ok, so it happened. On November 28th, at 31 weeks and four days, I gave birth to Levi Ryan Harris and Caleb Ryan Harris. Here is my story. . . Thanksgiving was so much fun. There was a bit of planning to do for dinner and a couple of projects I wanted to finish at the house, so my mind was definitely sidetracked. Actually my mind has been so occupied lately with getting things settled in the house and all of the holidays, that I was still in amazement that I was actually pregnant at all let alone with twins. Sunday morning after Thanksgiving and all company was gone, I told Ryan something felt different and I wanted to get it checked out before he left that evening for four days. When we went in, the dr said I was not dilated but that my cervix was shortening. Not a big deal but, because I was pregnant with twins and still so early, he told me that he wanted me to go to the hospital and get my first dose of steroid shots to help the babies lungs development. I would be monitored for an hour to see if I was having contractions, then return in 24 hrs for my second dose of steroid shots. My mind was racing but I felt a calmness that everything was going to be ok. I was given the shot and monitored then sent home. The contractions were not consistent enough to keep me in the hospital. We went home, had some thanksgiving left overs and took it easy. We put the kids to bed and Ryan and I settled in for a quiet night on the sofa; him watching football and rubbing my feet :), and me laying there thinking of how I wanted to decorate the house for Christmas. We went to bed and I was casually timing my contractions on my phone. They were inconsistent but started to get painful. Then, they were 8 minutes apart one hour and 7 minutes apart the next. I looked at Ryan asleep next to me and decided to call the dr and see what he wanted me to do before I woke Ryan. My dr told me to go strait to the ER. I called Ryan's parents to come watch the girls while we went. By the time we were at the hospital it was about 1:15am. I cried at the front desk when the way too chipper receptionist that was slower than a snail, couldn't find the preregistration form I had filled out online and again the day before. My contractions were starting to hurt really bad by the time I was placed in a hospital bed. The nurse checked me, I was dilated to a 5. They rushed meds into me to try and stop the labor but only minutes later the dr arrived, I was at a 6. I couldn't believe what was happening and when I looked at Ryan who, only moments ago was sound asleep and oblivious to anything, looked shell shocked when they handed him his OR scrubs just in case of a c-section (both babies were feet down)I almost laughed . . . almost. They were trying to hold off the labor for at least 48 hours so I could get enough steroids in my body for the babies lungs to function better at birth. The dr checked me again and said he felt one of the babies feet. While the nurse was putting in the catheter, I felt a gush of water and knew my water had just broke. All heck broke loose, people started showing up telling Ryan to put his OR clothes on. Everyone had their game faces on and an emergency c-section was happening, ready or not. This is where it gets real. I am laying in the OR, holding Ryan's hand, looking at his face because, it's he only thing that wipes everything else away. My body is being opened and tugged on in every direction. I hear a babies cry and see Ryan's face light up. I quickly see a baby rushed by me as they announce Levi's arrival. Then it seemed like forever before they were pulling the second one out. When I saw Ryans face as they pulled Caleb out it didn't light up the same way. He looked at me and took my face in his hands and said "it's in the Lords hands now and we will get through this together". I couldn't see Caleb or hear a cry and maybe it was the drugs or maybe it was an angel around me but I felt a calmness. I was so frustrated I couldn't move or see anything but the fabric draped in front of my face. Ryan watched and told me Caleb was blue and not breathing. They were pressing on Caleb giving him shots and putting tubes down his throat. He was not stable but was after a lot of, work was taking in some oxygen. They wisked both babies away and I only saw two bundles of blanket fly past me. We felt a bit of relief when we were later told that both babies were stable but needed a lot of help from nurses, meds and machines. At that point, things were out of our hands and our prayers were with our new boys. Levi was born on 11/28/11 at 4:16 am, weighing in at 3lbs 6oz and 16.93in long. Caleb was born at 4:19am and weighing in at 3lbs 2oz and 15.75in long. It wasn't until about 2:00pm when I saw my boys again in the NICU. As my sons are laying in their little beds, hooked up to so many monitors, it remind me of my last goodbyes with my son Max. Not being able to hold him like I wanted, but holding his hand and kissing his warm cheek goodbye. Now, not being able to hold my new sons yet, but holding their tiny little hands and kissing them hello. We will never be able to replace our Max, but when I look at these boys, I am reminded of him and the gift from God that they are. Stay tuned for more living . . . *no access to a computer yet to send pictures, but wanted to get the great news out about our little boys. If someone knows how to transfer pics from iPhone to blog let me know, and I will put some up.

September

2011-11-09T12:09:00.000-08:00

September brought cool crisp air and the excitement of the upcoming holidays. But . . . before we could get too much in the holiday mode, there were a couple of people we love, who had birthdays.
Abby, our little artist turned nine. Our birthday tradition is that the birthday boy or girl gets to design their birthday cake all by themselves, no questions asked. This year, Abby wanted Vincent Van Gogh's "Starry Night." Usually, I do the cake and the end result is a surprise on their birthday. Abby decided this year, she was old enough to help with the cake. We started the cake at about 10 pm the night before her birthday. She wrestled the frosting, sampled some cake pieces, and licked the spoon until about 11:30 pm then, asked with very sleepy eyes if she could go to bed.

We celebrated our sweet Abby's 9th year in the 100 year old barn with family and friends.

Papa Randy and Abby

I wish I may, I wish I might . . .

Belly Bump *note that this is in September :)

Ryan's birthday was soon after Abby's and he chose a red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting. We had a scrumptious dinner with family. Luckily for us, Nathan and Megan's family was there to join in.

I love these two people!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

August

2011-10-13T19:21:00.000-07:00

A lot more happened in August . . .

Charlie decided she wanted to learn how to ride her bike. She literally hopped on her bike and rode off. It's amazing what you can do with a little desire and determination.

The girls started their first day of school. It was a morning full of mixed emotions and tears, but in the end they were brave and realized they really didn't have a choice. :)

Charlie wanted to wear her Lego Star Wars shirt in honor of her brother Max.

We celebrated my dad's 65th birthday. The candles on the cake didn't even begin to describe the warmth and glow that is in my dad's heart. If you have met him or ever will meet him, you will know what I am talking about.

Jared and Kelli had a little boy. It's great living close and being a part of special moments like these.

Abby waited almost 9 months for this little guy to come into the world. She begged to be there soon after the birth so see the cute little guy and capture the moment. She is one proud cousin!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

It's About Time

2011-10-10T12:12:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said we were going to have a summer filled with adventure? Well, we did just that! I will make things short and sweet with lots more to come; just like my kisses to my kids. First let's go back to August . . .

El Salvador 2011

Ryan always negotiates some local jewelry for me

awesome group

cold Coke Zeros

dancing with Garrett, aka Frank Sinatra

Stay tuned for more living . . .

I'm Still Here

2011-10-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

OK, I can't see a comment like the last one from the last post and not respond. In response to the comment . . . yes, I am doing OK. Have I been better? Yes. I have been pretty honest and open with my posts so far and won't stop now.

I am an active person and love the challenge of pushing myself just to see how far I can really go. With each race I’ve done, I start out feeling pumped up by the family, friends and even stranger’s cheers and support. When Max passed away, amongst the devastation and a heck of a lot of other feelings, I felt pumped up because of all the support I had. I felt like I could handle the challenge ahead. Like in a race, the crowd fades away and you are left alone to focus on your pace, your physical and mental capabilities, and what it's going to take to cross that finish line. I have been focused, trying to set a good pace for myself and keep a positive perspective. I have been pacing myself through a few expected hills, but just when I thought I had climbed the steepest one by far, when I reached the top, I looked out and saw hill after hill, climb after climb, with short down hills in between. Really?? Is this what I signed up for? I am beginning to realize it's what we have all signed up for. Life is tough. Nobody really has the "perfect life." Everybody is dealing with something. Whether it's self inflicted or just the hand we’re dealt. For everyone, life is full of struggle, sorrow, sadness, and pain. So . . . what do we do? We have to let those up hills make us stronger by learning from them, cherish those joyful exhilarating down hills, and endure to the end.

Am I as carefree and happy as I used to be? Probably not, but I can say that I am stronger. I may still cry when I find a Lego piece on the ground but when I hold my daughters hands or feel my babies kick inside of me or look into my husband’s face; that's when I feel that exhilarating downhill that's going to help me get through the next uphill.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

*Baby bump pics and family updates soon to come!

The Mid State Fair

2011-08-02T21:57:00.000-07:00

The Mid State Fair is something that is definitely talked about in SLO. We decided to check it out. Our girls experienced their first fair and saw their first concert.

My sweet mom and dad didn't want to miss it.

The music was good and loud and my dad didn't even have to wear his hearing aids ;)

Train got the night started

Maroon 5 ended it with a smash. Abby wasn't quite sure why everyone was screaming with excitement when Adam started smashing his perfectly nice guitar.

We had so much fun that night, we decided to go back again on Monday.

The girls have their daddy wrapped around their cute little fingers. When they asked him if he could pretty please win them a stuffed animal . . .

. . . he couldn't say no.

We suprised the girls with Big Time Rush and Selena Gomez concert tickets

It was a fair they will never forget.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Max's Beach Day 2011

2011-07-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

July 8th 2000, is a day I will never forget. It was the day I delivered my first baby. It was the day we were given a gift of pure goodness, and decided to call him Max. Max loved to celebrate his birthday. Not for the presents, although I'm sure he didn't mind them :), but for the chance to be together with his friends and family. For his 10th birthday, he was planning a "Minute to Win It" birthday party. He had planned the games and written the guest list and supplies needed on some paper. He had even practiced with Abby and was going to let her be the official announcer for the games. As we all know, Max past away a few days short of his 10th birthday and his party plans never went further than that piece of paper. For this year's annual Max's Beach Day, our families threw him a "Minute to Win It" birthday party. It was another wish of Max's that has now been fulfilled and it meant so much to Ryan and me. It was the perfect way to honor and celebrate our sweet Max. We can't say thank you enough to our family and friends for being there for us.

Before the party, our family visited "Max's Place" and remembered him.

All of the kids wrote messages and sent them to Max.

Happy Birthday my little bud, we all miss you and we will never forget you.

I found my camera, but not until after this day. Click here and here for some great pics of Max's Beach Day

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Double The Trouble, Double The Fun

2011-07-28T19:33:00.000-07:00

Two baby boys are hanging out together inside my belly!! So amazing!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Drum Roll Please . . .

2011-07-19T19:07:00.000-07:00

My sweet, sweet, Dr. did one of the longest ultrasounds I have ever had. He was trying so hard to see what sex the babies were. While I was watching in awe the amazing lives that are growing inside of me roll around and move their arms and legs, one of the babies opened up for a very brief moment and showed us that He is a BOY!! The other baby was a bit more private and we weren't able to see a thing. Obviously we are thrilled and excited to know we will be having a boy and for the other baby . . . I love the anticipation and excitement it has left us with.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Baby Update

2011-07-18T19:12:00.000-07:00

We were happy with three kids. We felt good with our family of five. But life has unexpected turns and our last turn left us heartbroken. Our family will always include Max. We could never even try to replace him and would never want to. We made a decision that was led with prayer and a lot of thought and discussion. Our journey took us down a very bumpy road and we ended up in a fertility office called La Jolla IVF. Dr. Smotrich and his staff were amazing and now I am pregnant with not only one but two babies! It was a lot more complicated but I wont go into too many details. I am now 13 weeks pregnant and out of my first trimester and feeling a lot better. Our lives have been turned completely around. If someone were to have told me 13 months ago that I would lose a son, move to a new town, live on a ranch, and have twins; I would not have believed them. But it's all true. Ryan and I were talking the other day and he told me . . . "one thing you can count on in life is that it's always changing." The part that I like about it all is that we always have the chance to make it better. This is us making it better.

I see my OB tomorrow, maybe we will see what we're having!?!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

4th of July

2011-07-07T15:53:00.000-07:00

What better way to spend the patriotic American holiday than with your family and friends in an all American barn. All of my family on both sides were going to be in town to celebrate Max's birthday with us, so they came a few days earlier to explore the ranch and have an awesome party in the barn. It was exactly that. With Randy's planning, every ones help and catering from "GrillaBoyz", It was pretty amazing.

I still haven't found my camera since the move, so I borrowed these pics from my cute sister-in-law.
Thanks Megan!!

The Harris family

The Francis family

The kids said it was "The Best DJ they had ever had." ; )

Happy Fourth of July!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Great News

2011-07-05T13:27:00.000-07:00

I'm pregnant!

We just wanted to share the exciting news. Details to follow.

Oh, and it's twins! :)

A Year Without Max

2011-06-28T18:22:00.000-07:00

In a few days will mark the one year anniversary of my son's accident. Every morning I have been waking up and thinking of him and what we were doing one year ago. It seems like a lifetime ago, but I hold the memories so close to me I feel that special time will never be too far away. From the day school was out to the time of his accident was almost magical. Every morning Ryan would wake Max up to go surfing with him and on the way home would stop at the local gas station and grab some sort of junk food. I would always see the wrapper in the garage trash and give him a hard time about it but inside I was happy he was having fun with his dad. He would walk in on the girls and I having breakfast with wet sandy hair and ask with excitement what we were going to do for the day. To Max, everyday was a blank canvas ready to become a masterpiece. We would pick peaches from our tree and strawberries from our garden, have all the windows and doors open at our house and just let the freshness of summer fill us with happiness. Life was good and we knew it. We rode our bikes everywhere. We would ride to visit Ryan at work, go for some frozen yogurt, pack our backpacks and head to the beach, visit ducks at the pond or go to the movies. Ryan seemed to take extra time from work and share our summer adventures with us. Last summer was probably the best few weeks of my life until July 2nd. His accident still doesn't seem real until I wake up to only a memory or picture of Max's sweet face and it reminds me how real it is and my heart hurts. But, with all of my hurt comes arms filled with blessings. I have a drive to be good; I have a strong will to be my best. I want my son to see me succeed the way I believe he has. I am not perfect but I want to choose goodness, I want to choose happiness. I feel like when trials come my way, and they will, just like they will to everyone, I will do my best to overcome them because I know that God is with me and Max is with me. I don't think any summer will be as sweet and special as the beginning of last summer but I am ready to make this one filled with adventure, excitement, and some good old fashion fun!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Moving . . . Again

2011-06-07T21:46:00.000-07:00

So we are moving to San Luis Obispo tomorrow. Am I excited? Yes. Am I sad? A part of me is. Are we going to have an adventure up there? Of course! What am I hopeing for? That the girls will find their BFF's.

Besides being close to family and friends, here are some things I am excited about...

Our breathtaking rose garden

(the rest of the pics were taken with my iphone)

the backyard!

Tire swings

(this is actually our neighbors but we will be putting one up very soon)

Soda at the Barn

rolling around in the grass

Come and visit us!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Mother's Day Part 2

2011-05-16T13:34:00.000-07:00

I love how my mom is holding my hands in this picture.

1979

OK, so I was gearing up for Mother's Day; trying to keep my emotions in check and get through the holiday with my my beautiful children in my mind and a smile on my face. I had really good intentions. Really really good intentions. I was going to prove to myself that I could handle it and that I really have progressed in this last roller coaster of a year. Then . . . I got sick. I wont go into details but I was stuck in bed and felt horrible. Not a good combination with everything going on. I felt emotionally worn down, physically exhausted and combined with the holiday, I was struggling. So what do you do when something like this happens? We all have trials. I don't think we can escape life without them. So what do you do when things get you so down you don't feel like coming up? I was accompanied in my bed with my sickness and my thoughts and after a lot of crying I realized that it's up to me. Somebody can come in and give me some medicine for my body but I'm the only one in charge of my thoughts and emotions. It's up to me . . . it's up to us. Of course God will be there to help us along the way, but it's our choice how we handle our situations. It's our choice how we deal with our emotions. Are we going to just go through the motions and let life pass us by or are we going to fight for what we want? My kids need a mom, my husband needs a wife, I need to feel like myself. I think those are great things to fight for. Maybe not even fighting, maybe it's just caring. Maybe it's if we stop caring and loving . . . maybe that's when we give up. If love is the most powerful emotion, why not have it on our side? Love will give us the strength to fight for what we have and want.

Here are some highlights of my Mother's Day.

Flowers from my sweet husband

Sweet cards from my girls

and sweet memories of my son Max, June 2010.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Happy Mother's Day!!

2011-05-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day . . .

maybe I will post about it when I don't feel like crying.

Until then enjoy this.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Easter at the Ranch

2011-05-04T00:46:00.000-07:00

Before we headed up to San Luis Obispo, we hung out with my parents at the beach

We met Todd, Ashley, Nate, Meg and kids at the Ranch to enjoy the wide open space together and celebrate Easter.

Here are the boys getting ready for the paint gun battle. Harris v. May et. al.

The very cute cheerleaders

Happy Easter Charlie Bug!!

The kids had a pretty amazing Easter egg hunt in the back yard. I couldn't find the camera in time to catch some shots of the hunt but if any of you are visiting, keep an eye out for the golden egg, the Easter Bunny hid it a little too good :)

To finish the holiday of ATV rides, hot tubbing and cinnamon rolls Ryan talked about the Resurrection to the kids, Nate grilled up an amazing Easter feast and we all enjoyed each others company.

Happy Easter

Stay tuned for more living

Lihue, Wailua and Napali Coast

2011-05-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

Kid friendly shower on the boat, they loved it!

Caviar on the balcony, he loved it!

Freedom, she loved it!

Worlds largest maze . . .

did it!

Polynesian Cultural Center

Loved it!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Kona and Kauai

2011-05-02T21:08:00.000-07:00

Before heading to Kauai, we explored the relaxing town of Kona . . .

. . . rode the "Longest Water Slide in the World" . . .

and continued to enjoy Grammy & Papa.

In Kauai, while playing at a park at the beach, the girls found this chicken and her chicks. It was like finding gold!

We took a boat ride, aka puke ride, for a better view of the Napali Coast. The water was really rough and people were dropping like flies. It was a bad combination for our girls. Charlie definitely has motion sickness. I carry meds and a bowl in the car just in case. Abby is terrified of anything having to do with throwing up. I was worried it was going to be a really bad 4 hours.

Charlie tried to tough it out but decided sleep was the better alternative.

Really?

Look behind us . . .

This place is incredible!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Hilo

2011-05-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

A little hike to a big waterfall

quick stop to an old glass shop

Who says shaved ice, island cookies and diet coke isn't a great lunch?

Randy, Ryan, Abby and I took a helicopter ride over
macadamia groves, waterfalls and the Maunakea volcano.
Breathtaking.

Next stop Kaui!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Happy 60th!

2011-04-30T15:24:00.000-07:00

We were able to celebrate Ryan's parent's 60th birthday on a cruise in Hawaii. Oh man, is Hawaii beautiful or what!! I had never been on a cruise before. I always thought I would be claustrophobic, eat too much and get sea sick. It was nothing like that! We explored different Islands every day, ate when we wanted and were entertained in the evenings.

This was the only Taxi available to accommodate our large group and luggage. A few months ago when I was deciding what car I was going to buy, the girls said they wanted a limo or a motor home. They were disappointed when I didn't get either one, so they were really excited to ride in the old school 1980's limo. I was grossed out by the strange stains; look at the ceiling above. The girls' feelings of excitement won over all the cooties I was feeling and we had a really fun ride to the ship.

Welcome to Honolulu

Hiking to the Seven Sacred Pools in Maui

Ryan just walked up to the falls, took his shirt off, scaled the mountainside and gracefully dove off the top. Look close at the pic to see him diving. Something about the act was pretty sexy. Especially when that big buff guy on the left stood at the top for many minutes before getting enough guts just to jump off; then flopped in like an oaf when he hit the water. When Ryan came in, I kissed him, slapped him on the behind and told him to never do that again.

Watching the dive.

The kids enjoying the swim with Grammy and Papa

Next stop . . . Hilo

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Breaking in the New Place

2011-04-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

We are getting settled into our new place in Oceanside. We bought an old condo and for the last 4 months I have been engulfed in the process of gutting it and rebuilding it. Have any of you seen Sarah's House on HGTV? Her theory is that you can buy a cheaper house, rebuild it to fit your style while staying in your budget, and it would be the same amount you would have spent on a nice house in the same neighborhood. I put it to the test and it proved true! We were debating between 2 condos; one that we were renting, it was really nice and completely finished and an older condo down the street that needed a LOT of TLC. In the end we opted for the older one and I am so happy we did. Now, it is perfectly us.

Pictures to come soon . . . it turned out really awesome!

Here are some sneak peeks of us breaking it in and some of the occupants.

Creating some family art to hang on the wall

Ryan and I did have our shirts on :)

Sophisticated Mr. Bugsy

Enjoys his well balanced meals, head scratches and walks on the beach.

Mr. Peanut

Happy, hyper, quite the Houdini and could probably power our condo with all the spinning he does on his wheel.

The girls are in LOVE.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Heaven On Earth

2011-04-11T11:09:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about things the other night and wondering . . . if Heaven is so wonderful and so great, why are we so set on living long and playing out this life full of continuous ups and downs, where the ups seem short and the downs seem extra long? We have been talking to our girls about the incredible place called Heaven where Max is, and how he is really happy there. Out of the blue, Abby, my deep thinker told Ryan and me that she didn't want to be here anymore and that she wanted to go to Heaven. We were taken back by the comment and talked to her about how, in life, we have a lot of choices, but when we leave this earth will be God's choice. We talked to her about a lot of other things too. Her comment did make me think. In my heart, I was on the same page as her. I'm over it, I'm over this place called earth and this thing called life . . . it's hard. I want to be in a great place with my little bud Max and the rest of my family. A place where there are no worries, only love and peace. I'm tired of people being bad, tired of wondering if people are telling me the truth or not, I'm tired of having to shelter my kids or tell them to turn their heads away from inappropriate things or worry about "danger strangers". So what's the point? Avoiding as much evil or bad as possible? Everything I've heard about Heaven is sweet, I want to go there really bad but like I told my little girl, when we go is not our call. I read someone write "The only way to really prepare for death is by living life to its fullest." I don't take that as, eat, drink, and be merry; I read it as . . . the only way to really prepare for death is by living to our fullest potential. Every vacation I have taken with Ryan, we play the "Could you live here" game. When I think about a place I would want to live, it's Heaven . . . a place of peace, love and beauty. Let's bring a bit of Heaven here to earth. Let's be kind to others, love each other, and not argue as much. Those little grudges that your holding onto . . . let them go, in the long run they don't really matter anyway. Open your eyes and look around you, there are so many beautiful people out there, let's reach out to them, help each other, lift each other up. Be honest with each other and honest to ourselves.

Let's live to our fullest potential and live life to its fullest!

Stay tuned for more living . . .

Charlie Jackson

2011-04-08T01:48:00.000-07:00

Charlie loves music. When we heard about Justin Beiber and fell in love with the sweet boy with amazing talent, we thought for sure she would feel the same. Nope. Her first and only true love is Michael Jackson and according to her, there is no room for anyone else.

One day after school, she threw herself and her tears, yes real tears, onto my bed and confessed that all her friends are in love with Justin "Beaver" and nobody but her is in love with Michael Jackson. I told her that daddy and I love Michael Jackson too, gave her a kiss on her forehead and we went up and made some fruit soup, her favorite, and forgot all about it... below is what I found in her backpack the next day.

I think it was a statement of commitment to her class.

There's just a few problems with that purchase, but I didn't have the heart to tell her.

stay tuned for more living . . .

Good Times

2011-03-30T18:26:00.000-07:00

My brother and his girlfriend just had a handsome baby boy. They asked if they could plant a tree at our SLO ranch (where we will be moving in June) and have a naming ceremony for their little Able. Of course we said yes. It was beautiful; one of those experiences that allows you to look at each person and realize how happy you are that they are part of your family.

It was Adam and Kelli's birthday while we were there. Adam likes chocolate and Kelli likes confetti cake. Perfect combination.

A Toledo, Spain sword is the only way to cut a cake that big down the middle.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

The Rest of the Trip

2011-03-25T17:30:00.000-07:00

The trip continues. . .

After Sevilla we made our way to Granada, but stopped in some really amazing places like Cadiz, where you can find dancing horses; and Gibraltar, home of the famous rock on the southwestern tip of Europe that has been taken over by Barbary Macaque monkeys. There's something about exploring new places, cultures and people that never gets old. Every time I'm traveling, at the airport or even just in a crowded place, I look around and am in awe at what God has created. I love nature but there's something about people that just draws me in. Just to look at people. . . 2 eyes, 2 ears, 1 nose, 1 mouth and yet everyone looks completely different.

It really is amazing.

Cadiz

pic from Royal Riding School

Rock of Gibralter

Granada was hillsides full of quaint little white homes with terra cotta rooftops and cobblestone streets. We explored the Alhambra castle and it's inspiring architecture and grounds.

Abby took this cute pic. I love the stache ; )

Kelli actually gagged when I took this picture of her parents kissing :) Nothing warms my heart more than true love. I love that it has the number 1 above the door.

OK, I loved Toledo! I love anything that has a bit of history in it. I am definitely NOT a history buff. I have to try my hardest to remember what war was when; I know pathetic, right? I don't look at a city and remember history lessons from the 6th grade, but it's almost like I can feel or sense the history when I'm there. Toledo is a place where you can feel the history seeping out of the cracks in the streets and the walls of almost every building. It's been populated since the Bronze Age (3300–1200 BC ), and you can see it from the way the City is laid out, to the materials used in the old town buildings.

"View of Toledo" by resident El Greco 1608

Toledo is known for its metal craftsmanship. They've been doing it since Roman times. Jared pointed us in the right direction to the most authentic sword shop in town. It was tucked away, almost hidden, but we found it! The owner had been taught by his father, and his father was taught by his father, etc. He was a genuine guy and really proud to show us around his humble shop.

Check out his missing fingers! That's the real deal.

We couldn't leave Toledo without a couple swords for the boys made from our new friend.

America never tasted so good

Happy Birthday Jared! Thanks for planning such a great trip.

We brought in the New Year in the beautiful city of Granada and enjoyed some festivities in Madrid.

Stay tuned for more living . . .

What Now?

2011-03-21T23:16:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt like posting for a couple reasons. One, I have been really busy and through recent moves, have only just gotten back online. Two, and probably the main reason is that it hurts to look back. Even on amazing vacations and great times, even though it's been eight months, I still can't stop but think how Max is missing. . . how I am missing Max. Everyday I think of him, numerous times a day and every thought hurts. If I think of our last goodbyes it hurts, if I think about his sweet smile, it fills me with joy but it also hurts. How do I not hurt? Not think about him? How can I be a mother and not think of her child? I couldn't. Do I fill my life with constant entertainment or stuff to occupy my mind? I've been told to keep busy. I have kept busy, I have been out of my mind busy. And now, I am just really really tired. . . so tired that the glass that is always half full to me started to look half empty. I really don't like half empty glasses, they bother me. So, I have been thinking about it, searching for some peace and guess what I thought about? . . . You. Like I said I would, I opened my heart and pulled out all the messages, cards and letters that I had tucked away for when I would need them most. I took them out and read the words that you all took the time to write and send to me and my family. The cards, emails and post comments that I didn't want to open and read but touched me so deeply after I did. Words, that no doubt were inspired. Your words inspire me and give me strength to face one of my greatest fears with love and compassion. There is tragedy everywhere in the world. We can't change that, but we have God and each other to get through it.

I am so grateful for all of you.

Stay tuned for more living. . .

Seville, Spain

2011-01-12T11:57:00.001-08:00

Things to do in Seville, Spain:

Eat some Tapas, a small Spanish dish . . . check
Watch a Flamenco dancing show . . . check
Ride a horse and buggy through the town . . . check
Watch bullfighting . . . maybe next time

Watch a crazy street performer . . . check
See where “Don Juan” started his legend of love, where Columbus started his voyage and ended it, and marvel at the inspiring gardens and architecture . . . check, check, check.

Till we meet again Seville, you are beautiful, you treated us well and my kids loved you.
Don Juan has nothing on you.

stay tuned for more living

Fes

2011-01-02T07:58:00.000-08:00

After a magical Christmas in Germany and Hungry, we went to Africa . . . Fes, Morocco, Africa. We stayed and explored a medina called Fes el Bali. An over 800 year old wall contains this medina of 350 thousand souls. If you were to go from one side of the wall to the other, as the crow flies, it would be about 2 miles. Words can’t even begin to describe the smells, look, and feel of this incredible, hidden world, but these pictures will give a glimpse of a few things we saw along the paths of this exotic labyrinth.
I would have loved to have taken more pictures of the amazing local people, but many of them believe

if you take a picture of them, it takes a piece of their soul.

The city was built so long ago the streets are not big enough for cars. We had to be dropped off at one of the medina's entrances and from there on out, we were on foot. Our luggage was carted in.

Following a guide, we were led through narrow paths. . .

. . . that led us to a quiet, beautiful and serene "Riad" (atrium) with an abundance of intricate traditional Moroccan tile work. I fell in love with the tile!

The hotel welcomed us by bringing us into a tucked away room for some sweet hot tea

we wore ourselves out walking the brick paths that wove us through the copper, wood, pottery, carpet, leather and everything in between districts. Everything was hand made and beautiful.

along the walled paths there are doorways (mostly wide open) that led to all sorts of rooms. Above is a community oven, where anyone in the medina can come and bake their bread. Below is a wood working area for carpenters.

everything you can imagine and more is at the Islamic markets

the girls were tired, so we hired a cart driver and plopped them in

everyone but Lila loved it

ahh, the tannery. If this picture was a scratch and sniff, you would be switching to another blog right now. Just imagine the smell of rotten dead animals and you'll get the idea. As we entered the leather district, we were given mint leaves to hold to our noses to keep us from gagging or worse. The picture above is showing the dying pots after the leather has been dried. Below you can see the hides piled on the ground and hanging to dry as well as the poor animals next in line.

An ancient Islamic school where the children were taught to memorize the 6236 verses of the Qur'an.

Henna Tattoos

For such a crowded, dirty, stinky place filled with people speaking a language none of us knew; the food was incredible and we felt very safe. I would say with a hired guide, Fes is a must see! We loved the experience.

Stay tuned for more living

A Snow Globe Christmas

2010-12-25T06:13:00.000-08:00

We decided it would be best to head out and surround ourselves with new scenery to lighten the heavy feelings this Christmas was bound to bring. We jumped in on Ryan's parents and Kelli and Jared's family plans as they traveled for the holidays. We couldn't have picked a more perfect combination of a cold winter wonderland and the warm feelings between a loving family and four little girls with pure Christmas spirit. It was definitely a Christmas to remember for all the right reasons.

Nuremberg, Germany Christmas markets

Rothenburg Od Der Tauber, Germany

We rode a horse drawn sleigh and sang Christmas carols all the way up to Southern Germany's inspiring Neuschwanstein (Cinderella's Castle).

Christkindl Markt in Salzburg, Austria . . .

where the delicious sounds and smells guide you to handcrafted shops and hot chocolate so thick you can eat it with a spoon.

A beautiful view of Salzburg, Jared, Kelli and the girls

Christmas Eve in Budapest, was detailed with our tradition of acting out the birth of baby Jesus, unwrapping a few gifts and reading a Christmas story.
This year we were honored to have Abby read her own written Christmas story titled
"Snowing in Oceanside."

Christmas morning consisted of puffy ponies, pillow pets, two really happy girls,
and one amazing moustache.

Merry Christmas!!

stay tuned for more living

Moving On

2010-12-12T00:56:00.000-08:00

Moving . . .

Sorting through and packing everything in the house was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I wanted it to be like a band aid and just rip it off, but it was a slow and very painful process; a process I wouldn't have been able to do without the help of my mom. My mom, my instant friend the day she gave birth to me. The mother who lost a father while at the tender age of sixteen and later lost her child who was 19. The same mom that accidentally sat next to a stranger at the movie theater and started eating his popcorn instead of my dads! The mom we always teased but came to whenever we needed help. . . and she would always help. She was there to help me as I unraveled the various parts of our lives from various parts of our house and packed them away for future use. With packing tape punctuated with tears, the job was done.

Max, 7 yrs old

Max, 7 yrs old

Max, 9 yrs old

Max, 9 yrs old

"I like to surf. I like to stand on the board. My daddy is the best! daddy I ever had. After I surf, I am going to make a light saber."

Max, 5 yrs old

Ryan and I have dreamed about moving closer to the beach and sometimes would ask the kids if they would want the sand to be there back yard. Max would always say, "If we can pick this house up and put it on the sand, I would move." He loved our house. I did too. Saying goodbye to it was very difficult. As I walked through the completely empty house for the last time, I saw where we would say our nightly prayers together as a family of five. I saw the kids jumping off my bed and landing into a pile of pillows. I looked into the bathroom and saw the countless band aids that were applied and the blobs of toothpaste that were somehow always left in the sink. I saw the exact spot we found our missing hamster and the kisses that were given to it in relief. I saw the kids laughing on the couch as they watched Sponge Bob and Americas Funniest Home Videos. I saw where juice and milk and yummy food was spilt and enjoyed at the kitchen table. I saw the kids faces as they came down the stairs on Christmas morning, . . . my favorite faces. I saw the kids running to meet daddy when they heard the garage door start to open. When I walked outside, I saw all three kids riding their bikes, skateboards and scooters back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, over and over. I cried as I stepped back and took my last real look at the house. I wasn't crying because my perfect life had been completely altered, okay maybe I was a little, but truthfully, my tears were tears of gratitude. So much gratitude. Grateful to have been given the chance to make the memories. Grateful for each day in that house I spent with my kids and my husband. Grateful. Grateful. Grateful. The house, as great as it was, was just a house; but the memories and love that filled it was more than I could have ever hoped for.

"My family is grateful.". . . Charlie is crawling on the ground :)
Max, 5 yrs old

My heart is grateful for the memories and the chance to make new ones.

Stay tuned for more living

Happy Birthday!

2010-12-10T00:18:00.000-08:00

Ryan might be one of the hardest people to buy for or surprise, but I think he celebrated his birthday just the way he likes it . . . on the beach with his family. Fortunately both our families were in town, so we took advantage of the opportunity and celebrated.

Ryan claims September and October are the best months in So Cal and I would have to agree. The day was beach weather in it's perfection.

the kids

the adults

Ryan did get a few things for his birthday...

a snicker doodle cake . . .

Chargers V. Raiders tickets . . .

36 spankings and a pinch to grow an inch . . .

and a whole lot of love.

Love you Ryan

stay tuned for more living

Abigail Anne

2010-12-08T00:09:00.000-08:00

A lot has happened...a trip to North Carolina, El Salvador and oh right, we moved. Before I write about that, something very special happened, Abby turned eight. We celebrated her birthday in North Carolina (pictures to come when life settles down a bit) with grandparents, cousins and friends. After 10 days we flew home and just when we thought our fun meter was at it's max, we hit up some much requested Disneyland. We went to the happiest place on earth and rode every thrill seeking ride possible. We enjoyed a birthday meal at the "Blue Bayou" and closed out the park.

Abby followed in her brothers footsteps and set a beautiful example for her little sister, by choosing to be baptised. Friends and family from far and wide came to support and show their love for our sweet girl with the heart shaped face. We all watched as our little Abigail radiated with joy as her daddy baptised and confirmed her. The room, packed. The people, beautiful. The feeling, bitter sweet. The love, tangible.

Abby waking up to a gift that will keep on giving . . . the scriptures.

The after party was at our Hunsaker house. Big Chris' BBQ spread was beautiful and mouth watering. I watched Abby peek at the scene around her and I could see her for the slightest moment stop and realize it was all for her and she was enjoying it. She felt special and it brought me to tears seeing how many people care about our family and especially our little girl, Abigail.

We love you Abby!

Stay tuned for more living

Simple

2010-11-05T23:51:00.001-07:00

Dear Max,

From the day you were born, you were an inspiration to me. The first smile was inspiring. Your first laugh was magical. Your first word was like heaven singing in my ears. As you grew up, I saw that life for you was simple. For me, life with you was simply inspiring. I remember at the airport, it was early, you had some crazy blond bed head but your blue eyes were filled with excitement and anticipation of seeing your cousins and extended family. How could we have ever guessed that only hours later we would be saying our last goodbyes? We couldn't have, but in that airport something special happened. We sat down near our departure gate and I saw you take out of your pocket, not a DS to play alone, but a small bag of marbles and a string. You gathered your sisters and patiently taught them to play. Other kids gathered to watch, then you invited them to play. Parents and elderly couples gathered and were smiling. Soon they were clapping and cheering you all on. One elderly gentleman, remembering his childhood marble playing days, was giving you tips on the best way to shoot a marble. I can still see the look on your face as you took in your surroundings of strangers coming together and enjoying each other. Your face was content and pleased with the outcome. Laughter, joy, happiness; all because of a boy and a bag of marbles. I was so proud of you Max. You were happy when you won but it didn't compare to the happiness you showed when Abby won that last game before we boarded the plane. When I saw that, my heart almost couldn't hold the feelings of love I felt for you in that moment. It is a feeling and a moment I will keep forever. That bag of marbles and piece of string is a token of the way you lived your life. . . Simple. The scriptures say "... by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." Your life is a testament of that scripture. I miss you Max. Everything about you. No words can describe how much I miss you. At times, I just don't know what to do with myself. The unanswered question I ask myself multiple times a day, How can I still be a mother to a son that is no longer here?, has haunted me. I think back to when I was pregnant with you. I wondered how I would know how to be a great mother. When the doctor placed you, my precious Max, in my arms, the answer was simple, all I had to do was love you and the rest would fall into place. Tonight, thinking of you, I am reminded that the answer to my question now, is just as simple. All I have to do is love you and the rest will fall into place. Max, the best part about it is, that loving you is simply the easiest thing in the world for me to do and I will do it forever.

Your ever loving mommy,

Leanne

I hope you're watching Max,
beacause we are living. . .
for you.

Stay tuned for more living

Chile Part 2

2010-10-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

Santiago is Chile's capital and home to 5.3 million people. There's a constant smog looming over the city but on a rare occasion, when the sky is clear, the view is beyond awe inspiring. The city filled with condo high rises, historical monuments and barrios is encompassed by the snow capped Andes mountain range on the east and the beautiful coast to the west. Amongst the loud hustle and bustle of this overrun city, there are pockets of immense beauty. I was lucky I had a pretty cute tour guide to show me and the girls around.

There was nobody else but us and 4 pair of large $5 snow gloves on the snow covered Andes mountain. It was breathtakingly white.

Sometimes something that starts out small. . .

. . . can end up really big.

This is the last post from our whirlwind, spur of the moment, incredibly difficult and amazing trip we took as a family. During this trip, we grew closer together, even though there was one less head to count. Our family grew stronger, even though at times I felt like I was falling apart. I love that I saw Charlie reaching out her hand, grabbing onto the empty air, and listening to her tell me that Max was holding her hand. I loved her even more when she got mad at Abby for sitting on Max as we jumped out of the rainy night and into a Taxi cab, or when she fed him fried fish and told us he loved it. I will cherish Abby crawling into bed with us as the sun began to peek through the window and all of us spooning like spoons nicely tucked in a drawer. Bedtime for the girls was spent chattering about the days adventures, while in the other room, Ryan and I held each other under an unfamiliar comforter and told each other we would get through this . . . together. This was a trip where we were able to escape watchful eyes and expectations, to just feel what we felt. No one, other than our Savior, will ever know what it is like to have an Abby, and a Charlie, and lose a Max. We cried when we felt like it, laughed when we wanted to, and ate incredible amounts of ice cream and gelato. It was liberating. To be moved by our own feelings. To actually hear what our hearts and minds were telling us; they were telling us it was going to be okay. To just be ourselves, together, as a family. It's a time in our lives I will never forget. It was a trip of a lifetime that meant everything to our precious family.

Chile Part 1

2010-10-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

There are little moments in our lives that create a big piece of who we are.

At the age of 19, Ryan headed out with a new suitcase and set of scriptures, ready to convert Santiago to righteousness and love; ahh . . . young ambition, you have to love it. 16 years later, I still hear about his adventures in the loud and dirty, smog, dog and flee infested area he, at one point, called home. I had to see the place that helped mold the boy I fell in love with.

This was a one of the nicer gated homes in the area. I didn't get a picture as we drove past but just picture in your mind a boy, all alone, flying a kite on top of what looked like a landfill. The only thing that stopped me from crying at the image, was seeing the boy's face was full of happiness. He didn't see the piles of trash under his feet, he was just happy to be flying a kite.

After some reminiscing, we drove three hours away from the smog framed city and enjoyed the fresh coastal air.

We found a dirt road and decided to follow it. Luckily it led to some fun surf for Ryan and a beach with a tire for the girls.

Stay tuned for more living

Not The Mom Whose Son Died

2010-09-23T23:16:00.000-07:00

Max, Max, Max, Max. It doesn’t matter how many times I say his name, he is not going to be coming back. Something tells me, if he had the choice, he would choose to stay in paradise and happily wait for us to join him.

As I close my eyes at night my thoughts, as hard as I try not to, usually end up replaying the events of Max’s accident.Tears roll as scenes flash by. A girl, waving from the dock. A voice yelling Max was hurt. Ryan and I jumping off a boat and swimming to shore. Seeing a crowd of family circled around my son trying to revive him. His little body moving up and down with each compression. Me, reaching for him and begging him to breathe. Ryan begging God to save his son. Holding his small hand in the ambulance. Disbelieving what I was seeing in the ER. Holding his face in my hands. Watching Ryan tell him how proud he is of him. The life flight. The prayers at his hospital bed. The scans that showed Max’s lungs and brain. The sickness that covered the scans. His body, so perfect on the outside. Holding him, knowing it was going to be my last time. Lifting his hand to my face, feeling it on my cheek. My cheek on his cheek. Whispering a message into his ear that only a mom could give her first child and only son. The Dr. declaring Max’s death. Telling the girls. Flying home without him. Our house. His room. His bed. His Legos. His books. The funeral. The burial. Knowing our life as we knew it was forever changed.

It’s not the pain and sorrow that finally lulls me to sleep but the thoughts of the amazing boy he was. I don’t want his accident to define me. I don’t want to be known as the mom whose son died in a boating accident (commotio cordis). I want to be known as the grateful mother of Maxwell Ryan Harris. Grateful to have been given 10 incredible years with a boy we called Max. Max, the older brother who made and packed school lunches for his sisters in the morning. Max, the boy who was excited about pretty much everything life had to offer. Max, the scholar and the musician. Max, the kid who never needed reprimanding, only reminding. Max, the boy that could make friends with anybody and make everyone feel included. Max, the protector and man of the house when Ryan was out of town. Max, the boy who would write his inventions in his journal, then read past midnight. Max, the boy that loved to lie on the warm sandy beach and surf with his dad. Max, the person who taught me so much about life and how to live it. The boy with the bright blue eyes and the crooked smile.

I am not the mom whose son died. I am the luckiest mom in the world who was privileged enough to have raised and be loved by the special angel that is Max.

8th birthday. . . Lego cake for breakfast :)

Ventura, Christmas 2009

Stay tuned for more living

Raglan

2010-09-19T07:18:00.000-07:00

Ahhh. . . Raglan. In my mind Raglan = Relaxation. This gem of a place is a coastal town on the west coast of the North Island of New Zealand. This was our last stop before leaving New Zealand and heading to Santiago, Chile. There's something calming about looking out and seeing the open space that fills Raglan. You look out and see hillsides covered in a bright green carpet and open your eyes to the rolling hills that are sprinkled with sheep, cows, horses and their young. The natural beauty was so incredible that I wondered if the locals really knew how lucky they were to live in such a place. The girls loved the country feel of it all and were begging Ryan and I to live on a farm. They promised they would clean the stables, milk the cows, gather the eggs, clean the chicken coop, and feed the baby animals with a bottle. When we broke the news to them it wasn't happening, we did it gently ;)

The ocean in front of our flat

The view from our bedroom window. They had an organic farm in the back where they would pick the fruits and vegetables for the meals they prepared for us. My mouth has never tasted such incredible food in my life and each bite I took of the home grown, cooked with love, gourmet food made my stomach smile. I'm not so sure if the girls enjoyed the ice cream made from Raglan cow milk and homemade chocolate sauce, but their dishes were always licked clean.

We all laughed for a good 15 minutes watching a flock of 5 sheep trying to escape us. None of the sheep knew which way to go so they were running into each other, running down the mountain side and crossing back and forth over the gravel road in front of us.

Riding the fake . . . but visiting the real endangered, indigenous flightless Kiwi bird.

Each time Abby took a picture of us she would tell Ryan and I to kiss. You can see our smiles behind the much anticipated kiss. In these times of sadness that we share as a family, she is thriving on our love for each other, for her, and for Charlie.

So am I.

Stay tuned for more living

Beautifully Different

2010-09-14T23:37:00.000-07:00

So, I looked on Google Analytics and saw how many people have been looking at my blog. I don't know what to say, it was a lot. I couldn't see who specifically but I could see the amount of people who looked on a particular day. I saw the number had spiked at the mention of us loosing our son, Max, and continued to hold a steady amount each post. I was actually embarrassed and self conscious knowing that many people were reading each post and I wondered what strangers thought of my life and my family.

I just want everyone to know I am in no way perfect. I make mistakes all the time, grammatically and in life. I do my best not to judge people and I hope people will do the same for me and my family.

After the funeral we were able to escape to Australia and begin the healing process as a family. We are also able to pack our belongings in boxes and memories in our hearts and search for a home to live in and fill with happiness. We are very humble and grateful that we have these options and opportunities but have also learned from Max and life, that things are given to us and that things can also be taken away. I grew up poor and loved every minute of it. It gave me character and it gave me insight. My older sister was taken away from my family by a car accident at the age of 19. The experience gave me a chance to question and receive answers about life and death. I learned the importance of enjoying the time you are given. Each one of us has our own life experiences that create the person we are today. We are all beautifully different. So when I post something, it's not to show off, receive pity or to get amazing feedback. It's just me, being me, posting.

.....

We are a family determined to live life! It may not always be perfect or it may not be the way other people think we should live it but it's our life and heck, whether it be small or big, simple or complex, short or long we are going to live it!

stay tuned for more living

New Zealand

2010-09-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

Add:

2 cups European

1 1/2 cups Polynesian

1/2 cup Asian

Mix the cultures together with a strong scoop of indigenous Maori heritage and bake to the beat of a cosmopolitan rhythm. Sprinkle it with dormant volcanoes and tropical rain forests and surround it with the Tasman Sea, Coral Sea, and the South Pacific Ocean. Let it marinate and cool for over three hundred years, then jump in and enjoy the beautiful city of Auckland.

That's what we did.

At the top of the famous Sky Tower spying on the city below.

It was chilly but nothing a good hot cocoa couldn't help.

Charlie called it her "good cup a Joe"

Natures jungle gym

Never too chilly for gelato ;)

stay tuned for more living

Tasmania

2010-09-04T23:19:00.000-07:00

I think the toughness I carried as a girl in the Idaho winters melted away the day I moved to California, because I was freezing in Tasmania!

We flew into Hobart, which is the south end of the island of Tasmania and home to Mount Wellington, or as the aboriginals would say, Unghbanyahletta. It's a 20 minute, 4,000 ft drive to the top where panoramic views of the Derwent River, Tasman Sea and Hobart Harbour are spectacular. The air was definitely refreshingly crisp, tinted with the smell of the busy harbour. We toured the mountains and Hobart City by car, foot and by bus, warmed our bellies with the grilled catch of the day and tickled our taste buds with amazing Tasmanian chocolates.

view from our flat

We booked an amazing 2 bedroom serviced apartment in the art district of downtown Hobart. It was stunning, but as I walked through the modern architecture, down the stairs, passed the master bedroom, the bathroom, the girls room, there it was,. . . a third bedroom. It was small and cozy, in it was an inviting single bed with an accompanying side table and reading lamp. The comforter was turned down and the pillows fluffed. The only problem was Max wasn't there to occupy it. With the sinking reminder of Max's absence, I sat on the new carpet, with my head in my hands and cried. I could just see it, Max in the bed, reading into the night trying to block out the girls chatter and squeals with the latest adventure of Alex Rider or Indiana Jones. He would be bright eyed and smiling up at me as I walked into the room to kiss him goodnight and tell him I loved him, because that's what would happen every night.

What do I do with this? What do I do with an empty bed and an empty space in my heart? What does anyone do when they don't know what to do? They pray, and that's simply what I did. I remembered reading that someone once said "A blessing is anything that moves you closer to God". I prayed that this trial would be a blessing in my life.

We drove to the top of Mount Wellington and played in the snow, the girls loved it, then drove to the beach where Ryan surfed. You can tell by looking at Ryan's face he was painfully cold. Surf in freezing cold water in Tasmania, why not?

Enough said . . .

Stay tuned for more living

...Unpause

2010-09-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

West Australia.

Perth is a very clean, and vast city with a Southern California climate. The skyscraper downtown is lined with Eucalyptus trees and set on the banks where the Swan River meets the Indian Ocean.

After loving the city, we drove to our place in Fremantle. The original Penal Colony is now host to quaint shops and restaurants that surround the remnants of earlier years. We went from luxury in Melbourne to hanging our own laundry and I Loved it. It reminded me of helping my mom hang clothes when I was a kid.

We took a day trip to Margaret River. A small town at the very south west corner of Australia. It has a small stretch of beach that’s home to 20 world class surf breaks and great white sharks. Ryan forgot to mention that last part until he was finished surfing.

It was beautiful, the weather was perfect. The girls and I played "Gorillas" at a park that overlooked the ocean where Ryan surfed. The combination of being surrounded by such beauty, being with my girls, watching Ryan surf and filling my lungs with the freshness of Eucalyptus trees and the ocean breeze is a moment you can't duplicate.

Kings Park

Pristine botanical gardens, war memorials, hiking, endless views of the city, and Free!

This park was incredible!

DNA tower

What is it about girls, that when we're supposed to be quiet, it only makes us giggle?

Stay tuned for more living

Gift

2010-08-27T16:00:00.000-07:00

A boy who gave so much not only while he was full of life and laughing but even in a time when death was at his door. At a very difficult stage of Max's final moments, Ryan and I were asked if we would like to donate some of Max's organs and tissues. My first reaction was to not want any harm or unnecessary disturbance to occur to the perfection that was Max. In that same instant, both Ryan and I asked ourselves what would Max want us to do. The thoughts that proceed a question like "What would Max do?" will only lead you in the right direction. Max was "that" kind of kid. Ryan and I are both extremely proud of the life Max led and also proud of the decision that he inspired us to make that day.

Here are the results of Max's decision....

Short and Sweet

2010-08-20T18:00:00.000-07:00

After 13 planes, 5 rental cars, 4 boats and 1 train, we are finally home. Humble tears were shed when we came home to flowers, gifts, cards and much much more. Every email, every letter, and each thoughtful action has been bottled up and placed in our hearts. When things get tough we will take a sip and let each word fill us with the love and happiness that will give us strength to get through it. It's the best gift we could ask for and we thank you so much for giving it.

Saving the Short and Sweet for Later

2010-08-20T03:20:00.000-07:00

I want to pause from our vacation for just a bit. I still have many places to write about but first I want to skip ahead to the end. The thought of coming home after 5 weeks of "living" with my precious family was filled with a mix of emotions. I could barely sleep the night before our inevitable departure. My warm blanket was too heavy, along with my thoughts. Moments of Max's life and death were flashing behind my eyelids, eliminating sleep. Thoughts crept into my mind. . . what am I doing here in Chile? Will I really not be able to hold my sweet Max until I pass on to the next life? Does my ever loving husband really not have a boy to share and experience this life with? What if I go home and I can't deal with it all? What if I lost another child, could it really happen again? Heavy, . . . this was all too heavy. Kicking the blanket off, I prayed that this heaviness would be lightened. Sleep enveloped me and I dreamt. I love roller coasters. Something about them makes me laugh out loud, a real belly laugh. In my dream I could feel I was rolling on tracks that I couldn't see. I looked around and saw that I, along with a bunch of other people, were corralled like cattle into a large cart. People were crying, screaming, grasping to hold on to the cart as the terrifying course hurled forward and back along cliffs and mountain ridges. I was so scared, holding on for my life, my grip so tight. I looked around at the people around me and I saw a child, a little girl. My heart ached for her. As I looked at her I saw she wasn't scared at all, but was lifting her arms in the air and laughing as the wind and the world swept across her. I felt the pull to do the same. I loosened my grip on one hand, then the other and I felt it. Life. Exciting and beautiful life, and I laughed. I woke with a renewed energy and trusting that God has a course for me. We can't control everything, so why not let go. Choose good, have faith, and let go. Let go and enjoy the amazing life that is waiting for us!

Stay tuned for more living

Melbourne

2010-08-19T02:21:00.000-07:00

Our 4 hour drive to Melbourne was actually 7, but who was counting? Surely not the kids who asked "how much longer" 15 minutes after we left. ;)
Melbourne was a feast for the senses, with the Old English buildings mixed amongst modern skyscrapers, displays of art; fine, aboriginal, and even statement making graphity, smells of the local cafes and eucaliptus trees and even though it's Melbourne's winter, mullets were in full bloom. We splurged and stayed in an incredible suite at The Windsor Grand Hotel.

The girls felt like princesses.

After obsorbing the city we drove to Torquay. It's a quaint little town in the country that is home to the famous surf spot, Bells Beach. The waves weren't surfable (total victory at sea conditions) but we had fun hiking the beaches and checking out the town.

You can't see very well, but, in this picture the field in the background was full of kangaroos.

Stay tuned for more living

Sydney

2010-08-18T00:04:00.000-07:00

Sweet, sweet, Sydney. After a 9 hour drive in the rain, and being rejected at multiple hotels (the Sydney Boat Show was going on), we were so happy to finally tuck ourselves into our hotel beds. The cosmopolitan city, set in a beautiful harbor was filled with San Francisco streets and New York shopping but with the mild climate of San Diego and definitely holding true to the Australian style. We took a cruise around the harbor, went to the Sydney Sky tower for an arial view of the entire city and rode a water taxi to Luna Park. Luna Park, an amusement park my mom went to as a kid and one my dad dreamed about going to while he was 19 serving his mission nearby, is like stepping back in time to the original Coney Island.

The girls are still talking about it.

Abby lost her other front tooth. Realizing while going to bed that she had left her tooth in the car, she wrote the tooth fairy a note. Charlie decided to leave the tooth fairy a note too as well as a birthday invitation.

The tooth fairy responded to both.

We are reminded of Max daily

Sometimes our hotel room doubled as an Animal Hospital.

The animals were in the best of care.

Next stop, Melbourne!

Stay tuned for more living

Back to Brisbane

2010-08-17T01:30:00.000-07:00

Back to beautiful Brisbane where we hung out with my family one last time. Together we went and saw where my mom grew up, attended school, and fell in love with my dad. We let the kids get their wiggles out at some parks, and last but not least, Ryan got to go surfing at D'bah with Mark Occhilupo "Occy" a world champion surfer.

Needless to say, he was pretty stoked

Stay tuned for more living

Great Barrier Reef

2010-08-13T21:21:00.001-07:00

Poor little Charlie gets really motion sick but she still wanted to go check out the fishies. So we loaded her up on ginger tablets and boarded a boat to one of the seven wonders of the natural world. We anchored at the breathtaking Great Barrier Reef and stepped into the underwater glass bottom boat where we saw incredible sea life and the girls, who love the Planet Earth series, were able to see first hand a below the surface wonderland.

This picture is not in focus but captured the moment. Abby was in the boat and witnessed Max's accident. In this picture Abby and Charlie are watching their dad show them it is okay to go in the water. Abby asked Ryan to pinky promise they would be ok. He pinky promised.

The view from the balcony and the bedroom of our flat.

Another flight, another adventure

Stay tuned for more living

Cairns

2010-08-13T01:52:00.000-07:00

We flew to North Queensland and landed in Cairns. We dropped our bags at our hotel and headed out ready for an adventure. We took a Sky Rail through the magical Daintree Rainforest, thought to be the planet’s oldest surviving tropical rainforest. It led us to the top of the mountain and into the quaint little village of Kuranda, where butterflies, aboriginal art shops and gelato are prolific. When we had explored all we could, we took a century-old railway back into Cairns.

It was an experience that created some really great memories.

Stay tuned for more living

Stradbroke Island

2010-08-10T02:33:00.000-07:00

One of the largest sand islands in the world, with white sandy beaches fringing the island. You can only get to this beautiful remote island referred to by Islanders and Australians as "Straddy" by ferry. We couldn’t pass this little gem up, especially if there was surf on the island!

I’m kind of an “in the moment” type of person. I like to feel the moment, breathe the moment, and taste the moment. My moments are simple. It might be because I don’t have the greatest memory of the past or maybe it’s because I’m not too concerned about the future. In my mind, for the most part, I really only have the now. Each one of our moments is like a simple thread that weaves through the tapestry of life. I’ve heard that, by small and simple things, great things are brought to pass. I figure, if I live each moment good, I’m bound to end up somewhere great!

Stay tuned for more living

Wild Animals and Sunshine

2010-08-07T02:59:00.001-07:00

We said goodbye to the Gold Coast for a bit and drove to Brisbane.

Before we said goodbye to my Grandma and Uncle Lionel we stopped to visit my Grandpa Allen’s grave site. He died when my Mom was 16 so I was never privileged to know him. This is the closest I have ever been to him, it was a very special moment for me.

We checked out shops, art museums, ate food at a street market (Ryan ate a “Banger”, the Australian term for bratwurst) and rode a ferris wheel that overlooked the entire city.

A trip to Australia would not be complete without a visit to the Steve Irwin Australia Zoo.

Abby was a bit nervous feeding the kangaroos and wallabies so we did it together

There were a lot more animals seen and enjoyed by the girls (especially the little ponies they were able to ride) but my camera’s batteries had exhausted themselves. We could definitely relate.

We checked out Caloundra and watched the sunset on the Sunshine Coast. We have also taken it upon ourselves to experience every flavor gelato offers. It’s a tough job but we feel like it’s our responsibility as tourists, and we take our responsibilities very, very seriously.

I think in this pic I told them to say "gelato" :)

The harsh reality of Max’s absence still slips in. We have our good cries, good because there's nothing bad about missing our boy, and we are fighting for our happiness together as a family. We have never been stronger or closer.

Stay tuned for more living

People

2010-07-30T18:33:00.000-07:00

When you are confronted with death you think about stuff. I thought about people. I had a dream the other night where I was talking with Max. I asked him if he was having fun playing with his Legos in paradise. In my dream, he looked at me with a coy smile and admitted that he had forgotten to take them with him.

Stuff is stuff but people and our relationships with them, is the heart of our existence. Relationships and experiences are eternal, let's make them good ones.

This is my uncle Lionel and I on a cliff over looking Duranbah, a beach the locals call D'bah.

Lionel was born to fish

My Grandpa Allen taught him when he was three

Lionel wanted to teach the girls to fish. So, we fished. . . a lot.

Abby loved to have the ocean water spray her face, she was totally soaked but loving life.

Charlie had the time of her life after she threw up all over the boat.

Lionel would go as a kid, with my grandpa and my mom fishing for yabbies and crabs.

We wanted to experience it too

The girls followed him around like little ducks

Ryan became an expert yabbie catcher

Abby with a yabbie

This is my mom, Lionel, and my grandpa Allen at a bird sanctuary in Carrumbin around '54
They would go in the mornings to the feed the birds

We wanted to go too.

It was still there

This is My Grandma Shirley

She might not remember what she told you 5 minutes ago or which door leads to her bedroom but she is the sweetest thing to be with and be loved by

She taught the girls how to peel prawns and shell crab.

We ate some tasty fresh seafood dinners

Happiness

Stay tuned for more living

There is life after death, we're going to live it!

2010-07-27T06:21:00.000-07:00

When I started my blog, this is what I wrote in my "about me" section. . .

*
We are a family determined to live life! It may not always be perfect or it may not be the way other people think we should live it but it's our life and heck, whether it be small or big, simple or complex, short or long we are going to live it!
*

Death has laid it's heavy hand on us and has hushed a laughter we've held so dear. Max has moved on to a better place but his memory and laughter will always remain with us.

With Max's death, our life has been turned upside down. What better way to handle it than to take an extended trip to the down under, Australia. We packed our bags and headed out, determined to lose ourselves in order to find ourselves. I'm tellin you, there's a lot I'm finding out about myself and my family.

This is us . . . LIVING life.

Watching the sunrise on Palm Beach with the bare necessities, "Pinky" and an apple

Did you know I'm half Australian?? This is my Grandma Shirley and my uncle Lionel

The view of Palm Beach from our flat

Love

Stay tuned for more Living

Max

2010-07-13T11:57:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post about Max's service and his birthday, but I'm away from home and don't have access to my photos so I stole some pics from my sister-in-laws blog. Thanks Em. I'll update with more pics when I can.

I am still humbled when I think about the amount of people sending words and tokens of love and encouragement, keeping us in their prayers, giving thoughtful gifts to my girls, food, and helping with the funeral service. A special thanks to Ben Webster for designing and pressing the incredible Max programs for the services. There are too many people to thank individually. You all will never know the oh so needed strength it gave me each day.

Ryan and I can't thank you all enough.

I didn't want to wake up the morning of the service. My stomach was wrenched with a horrible sinking feeling. Am I really doing this? Am I really going to bury my son today? It was a surreal feeling. As the morning went on I read emails, letters, scriptures and looked around at all my family, they were all there, every beautiful one of them. I couldn't help but feel lifted up and encouraged to get through this nightmare of a day.

The service was amazing. The place was packed, I could just see Max's big Indiana Jones smile(that's what he called it) as he saw how many people he had actually effected in his short life. Speaking at the service was one of the hardest and easiest things I've ever done. Hard because it was my Max's funeral, and easy because talking about my feelings for my precious boy is as natural as the sun. The talks, the music, the slide show, it was all amazing. The spirit of love and heartache mixed with the laughter of memories was beautiful. We couldn't have asked for anything more to honor our son.

The burial was another challenge. The finality of it all. As crazy as it might seem, I felt rested, along with a lot of other horrible feelings but mostly I felt peace. After his accident in Idaho, Max was life flighted to Salt lake, a flight Ryan and I were not aloud to go on. We drove to Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City where he was eventually pronounced dead. Ryan and I had to fly home without him, an extremely hard thing to do. His little body was later transported to Oceanside. Like when a mother loses her child for a moment in a department store, she doesn't feel complete until the child is again safe by her side. Although Max had already passed away, I couldn't feel complete without knowing and seeing exactly where he was and that his body was safe. When his body was lowered into the earth in his favorite Star Wars shirt and with his Lego figures, I knew we had sent him off the right way.

Max loved his cousins so much. Each one of them gave Max a rose.

I asked the cousins to build him a sign out of Legos. This is their masterpiece. It was lowered with Max and these Lego warriors are now watching over him.

The following day was Max's 10th birthday. Another huge challenge for us but we decided to celebrate it. We all (sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents) went to Lego Land, his favorite place in the world. Although there were some silent tears shed when I would catch myself looking for Max amongst the cousins and would remember he wasn't there or when I saw the break dancing Lego figures in little NYC and thought of him. It was a tribute to Max and I felt his happy spirit smiling with us. Especially when Ryan, Abby, Charlie and I screamed "Maaaaaaaaaaaaax" as we went down the Project X roller coaster.

July 2008: Photo of Max's first time on Project X with Ryan, Abby, and I

Later that evening our families put together an annual Max's Beach Day. A day to remember and celebrate the amazing person and example Max is to all of us.

Family and friends gathered together with great food, a super cool treasure hunt. . .

. . . treasure. . .

. . . and a birthday cake.
It was magical.
Happy Birthday Max, we all love you.

Ryan and I cannot begin to express our thanks to everyone for the out poor of love and support.

thank you thank you thank you

April 2010: Photo of Max with his sisters Abby and Charlie, and the David and Emily Francis cousins, Sam, Ethan, Aidan, and Henry

Forever Our Max

2010-07-13T11:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Max,

When I was a little girl I dreamed about finding my soul mate, marrying him and having a family. I couldn’t wait for it all to begin. After I found your daddy and we were married I couldn’t wait to carry the title of mother. I would sit on the beach while daddy surfed and would write in my journal about one day becoming the greatest mommy the world has seen and about all the fun things I would do with my kids. I would even sketch pictures of me with a baby in my arms.

When I found out I was pregnant with you, I called your daddy and told him to meet me at the beach. He sat next to me and I told him the incredible news. The happiness in both our hearts was as big as the ocean. We spent the next while watching the waves at Wind and Sea and talking about the greatness that was about to come upon us and how awesome it was going to be to be parents.

Right after you were born, I felt like they had just placed a piece of Heaven in my arms. I looked into your pure blue eyes and knew that God had given me something so special that words couldn’t even begin to describe. When I saw Daddy’s face looking at you, it was as if you were the thing he had been waiting for his whole life, a piece in our puzzle that fit so perfectly. It was instant love. The way he looked at you made me fall in love with him all over again. It was then and there that I discovered what joy and happiness really is. Every day I shared with you Max were days of pure joy and happiness.

There isn’t one thing I would change about our life together. I took you in Max, all of you. Every day I would drink in your smile, devour your hugs and awe at you wisdom and love of life and people. I gave you everything a mother could and it was as easy as breathing. But Max, you gave me more. You gave me so much more. I want you to know how profoundly proud I am of you. You did it! You did what all of us are trying so hard to do. It was like it was a simple thing for you to do. You led a righteous life and made it back to live with our Father in Heaven. I know in my heart….with all that I am….that He is pleased with the life you led here on earth. I love you so much Max. I will miss seeing your magical face and holding my sweet boy in my arms but I know that you are always in my heart and I will one day be with you again.

Love,
Your forever loving mommy,
Leanne

Funeral services for Maxwell Ryan Harris

2010-07-05T17:15:00.000-07:00

Funeral services for Maxwell Ryan Harris will be held on Wednesday, July 7, 2010, at 11:00 a.m.

Easter

2010-07-03T15:38:00.000-07:00

Just a reminder that I am still pretending I have been blogging. :)

We went to St. George and met up with my brothers and fam, mom and dad, and uncle and fam. We all stayed in an awesome rental house and enjoyed the chaos together.

Family bike ride

Took a beating and kept on riding. Atta boy!

Boys and Petra glyphs

A holiday would not be a holiday without Legos

The kids loved Letter Boxing (online treasure hunt thing)

We got a little lost and some blood was shed but the kids had a great time!

Cousins

2010-07-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

My brother and his family came to visit. We all love it when that happens!

Skipping rocks after a great hike

Happy birthday David!

All we need is Love

2010-06-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

Valentines Day was great! Ryan and I went out and had a great evening. The best thing about this V-day was that Max had a secrete admirer. Max, Max, Max, my sweet little boy with a big heart, blue eyes, a crooked smile and a dimple on his left cheek. Max the kids who does his homework everyday at 5 without being told and could sleep until noon if you let him. To Max girls are like those extra buttons on a piece of high-tech machinery. You know they're there but you don't really know what they do and things work just fine without them so they go unnoticed and untouched. Well, one of those buttons got his attention. This is how it all went down. I picked the kids up from school and I asked the typical "How was your day at school?" question. Max's usual comment "fine" was tucked in his backpack for another day. Today he jumped into an out poor about a secret Valentine card that was literally thrown at his head with a picture of happy ducks in a pond on the front and an "I love you Max" scribbled on the inside. It led to a full fledged investigation that included interviewing girls and guys from all fourth grade classes. The interegations stopped when the recess bell rang with no luck of finding the mystery girl. I giggled at it all (because that's what girls do when there's talk about love) and gave him a bit of advice but evidently it wasn't good enough because this is what I found on my phone via text later that evening.

Max: Hey dad, it's me Max. I'm kind of freaking out right now. Something really strange happend to me at school today. I got a love note from a girl and I don't know what to do.
Ryan: stay cool bud, you're a Harris, that's just what Harris boys have to deal with. Ask your mommy, she sent me love notes all the time.
Max: Thanks dad.I love you.
Ryan: I love you too. When I get home we can talk more about it.

They went for a drive later that night to have a "man to man" talk.

Oh and Abby informed Max that it was her friend that wrote the note.

I totally remember crushing on my older brothers friends.

Good luck out there max!

Smarty Pants

2010-06-27T22:42:00.000-07:00

Max was selected from his school to particpate in a San Diego county math competition. Umm. . . blonde hair blue eyes and loves math??? I'm not sure where he came from but we sure are proud of him.

Charlie Barlie

2010-06-26T00:01:00.000-07:00

All Charlie wanted for her birthday was to visit the snowy mountains.

We drove for hours in search for them.

She was a good sport and settled on hot cocoa and pie in the foggy mountains.

Anyone who says you can't be a tiger at a birthday party is a party pooper.

We love you, our little happy Charlie!

Guatemala

2010-06-25T22:42:00.000-07:00

Ryan had a deposition in Guatemala and asked me to join him.

Tough decision:)

How amazing would it look to have a wedding reception at some of these old churches.

Breathtaking!

Charlie kept asking when we were going to go to "Guacamole"

so Grammy could babysit.

We had a great time in Guacamole and the kids had a great time with Grammy.

Thank you Grammy!

Happy Birthday to Me!

2010-06-24T03:00:00.000-07:00

Ryan helped the kids make cookies

then he did the dishes!!

I was even able to have lunch with my brother and his girlfriend.

It was a great birthday!!

Part 2

2010-06-23T03:37:00.000-07:00

Disneyland!

The happiest time of the year

at the happiest place on earth

Bringing in the New Year with
the Harris Annual New Year's Party

a little Rob and Derek Pearl Jam

Christmas Bells Are Ringing

2010-06-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

I caught Charlie whispering to the Elf what she wanted for Christmas.

It warmed my heart

Family arrived from all over the map to celebrate

Rockin around the Christmas tree

Adorable Scarlett

Warm homemade bread

yummy

Kelli and Jared's family

3 wise men, a lamb, an angel, Mary and a sweet baby Jesus

It's not even light outside!

The book title says it all

You can't beat Christmas in California

Scarlett agrees

We Are Thankful For. . .

2010-06-21T00:01:00.000-07:00

kids

helping hands
(we forgot my mom's wheelchair)

happy faces

diet Coke fountain drinks

(I guess in this pic it was Pepsi but believe me if Coke was a choice it would have been chosen)

flexible and creative kids

special moments

whipping cream beards

slumber parties

family

New Moon Madness

2010-06-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

I had a party to celebrate the Twilight Saga New Moon movie. 101 girls, 1boy(not quite sure about that) at the party and 98 followed to the midnight showing!

Let's just say, it was crazy girl fun.

Felicity painted an awesome sign for out front

We played New Moon Jeopardy

Winners

It would have been fun to get a group shot.

I was too busy chatting.

For the record, I'm not a Twilight freak.

I love the books, like the movies

but most of all I like getting together with my girls.