Sunday, December 11, 2011

Back In My Arms


Caleb
They can wear clothes now!!


Levi


Caleb


Brothers


Back in my arms.


Stay tuned for more living . . .

Thursday, December 8, 2011

10 Days Old

Ok, so I thought I was going to be alright leaving my boys in good hands at the NICU while coming home to recuperate. I'm not going to lie, it was not easy. Granted I have a lot of hormones going on, it just didn't feel right to leave the hospital, no longer pregnant, without my babies. It took me back to that place where I had to leave Max at the hospital . . . not a good place. I had a lot going on around me and in my mind when I got home but was so happy to wake up with a clear mind knowing that life is amazing and incredible and we are truly blessed. I have one boy in Heaven looking down and watching over us, two boys getting excellent care at the NICU, two girls who bring us so much happiness and adventure, and a husband who loves me.

Ryan and I are visiting the boys for about five hours a day; where we are now able to hold, change diapers, and help out the nursing staff with whatever they need. We are so excited to say, thanks to prayers, modern technology and medicine, that the boys are doing amazing! They are no longer on oxygen or forced air, they are accepting their food through a tube that goes in their nose to their stomachs and are now off their IV's. Caleb's weight had dropped to 2lbs 14oz but is now tied with Levi at 3lbs 5oz. Pretty soon they will just be tiny regular newborns.

Just as I was getting settled into the routine of "visiting" my boys and being at home to take care of my girls, I woke up to conjunctivitis (Pink Eye), yuck! The NICU is a very sterile place and my heart fell with the fear of not being able to visit my boys. I called the nurse, who talked with the Dr. and she told me, in a nice way, that I wasn't allowed to enter the NICU and would not be able to see or hold my sons. I had to hurry and get off the phone so I didn't break down on the phone. It's been 3 days now without seeing them. Sometimes you have to search for that happy place to go to when it's not right in front of you. I've been doing a lot of searching :) I am feeling better and will probably look back and not even remember this short time with out seeing my little guys. In the meantime, I am so happy they are doing so well in the NICU.


Caleb
.
Levi
Ryan is a natural at this.
Caleb
.
Caleb
.
Caleb
... And this.
Levi
Levi
He's super grumpy that his mom isn't there :)



Stay tuned for more living . . .

Friday, December 2, 2011

Day 4

Today is the day I leave my boys at the hospital and go home to my girls. It's bitter sweet. Levi is doing better today but still a bit behind Caleb. I think this whole process is going to be filled with ups and downs. Good thing we are kind of used to that :) Below are some great "up's" of the day. Stay tuned for more living . . .

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Caleb
The NICU nurse is handing Caleb to me for some snuggle time.
Caleb
Me and my little guy.
Levi
Levi is all wrapped up and snug as a bug getting ready to be held by his dad for the first time.
Levi
He looks happy about it.
Ryan and Levi
So sweet.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Day 2

Day 2
Caleb and Levi have now switched roles. They are both breathing without intubation ( the tube down their throats) but Levi is struggling without the assisted help of oxygen an airflow. I was able to hold Caleb. It felt like I was placing a piece of my heart back into place that I never knew was gone and now I don't want to live without. They are still very very small and need so much help but I feel confident in the NICU staff that they will do everything possible to care for our boys.
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Thank you for all of the prayers our way. Keep them coming! :) Stay tuned for more living . . .