Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Year Without Max

In a few days will mark the one year anniversary of my son's accident. Every morning I have been waking up and thinking of him and what we were doing one year ago. It seems like a lifetime ago, but I hold the memories so close to me I feel that special time will never be too far away. From the day school was out to the time of his accident was almost magical. Every morning Ryan would wake Max up to go surfing with him and on the way home would stop at the local gas station and grab some sort of junk food. I would always see the wrapper in the garage trash and give him a hard time about it but inside I was happy he was having fun with his dad. He would walk in on the girls and I having breakfast with wet sandy hair and ask with excitement what we were going to do for the day. To Max, everyday was a blank canvas ready to become a masterpiece. We would pick peaches from our tree and strawberries from our garden, have all the windows and doors open at our house and just let the freshness of summer fill us with happiness. Life was good and we knew it. We rode our bikes everywhere. We would ride to visit Ryan at work, go for some frozen yogurt, pack our backpacks and head to the beach, visit ducks at the pond or go to the movies. Ryan seemed to take extra time from work and share our summer adventures with us. Last summer was probably the best few weeks of my life until July 2nd. His accident still doesn't seem real until I wake up to only a memory or picture of Max's sweet face and it reminds me how real it is and my heart hurts. But, with all of my hurt comes arms filled with blessings. I have a drive to be good; I have a strong will to be my best. I want my son to see me succeed the way I believe he has. I am not perfect but I want to choose goodness, I want to choose happiness. I feel like when trials come my way, and they will, just like they will to everyone, I will do my best to overcome them because I know that God is with me and Max is with me. I don't think any summer will be as sweet and special as the beginning of last summer but I am ready to make this one filled with adventure, excitement, and some good old fashion fun!


Stay tuned for more living . . . 

15 comments:

Shay said...

I can't believe the accident was a year ago. I still think about you guys daily. You are the strongest woman/family I know and I hope you guys have a fun and memorable summer!

Ali said...

I can't believe it has been a year!! I have been thinking about you so much lately. I will be praying extra hard for you to get through that year mark..We love you guys!!

Ann said...

Thank you Leanne for this beautiful post. I sense that Max is smiling down at all of us as you honor him with your courage and optimism and choice to find happiness. Again you are an inspiration to me.

Leslie said...

I've been thinking of your family, too, as the year comes to an end. You are still in so many prayers and your words and drive are very inspiring, Leanne. Hugs.

Meagan said...

I have been thinking about you guys even more than usual this week. Thanks for being such an incredible inspiration. My prayers are always with you.

Megs said...

Maybe it's terrible to say this, but that post was beautiful. What a great lesson to us all to live every moment to the fullest. Big hugs to you & your sweet family.

Rachael said...

You have a beautiful way of expressing your emotions. I think you are so strong & I look up to you!

Meghann said...

I am amazed by you, your family, your strength. Thinking of you all at this time and sending prayers.

stephanie said...

i think of your family every day and just wanted you to know that i’m just another one of the probably thousand people who love you.

Anonymous said...

Just as Max would want!!

The Francis Family said...

It is good to hear of the fun memories with Max. I have been pondering this past month what your family has gone through this past year. There has been a lot of good with the bad and you have been the first to seek good and share it. It's very uplifting. Thinking of you today and everyday.

Kristen Brinton said...

I think about Max a lot! And I miss him. But especially today, as I thought about the last year. I walked the halls at church and saw all of the sweet faces of people who love Max. (and let's face it, everyone loved him) Not seeing the rest of the Harris family, and just wanting to give you a hug and let you know we are all still here for you. I miss you, Leanne, Ryan, Abbey and Charlie! I will always be sending my deepest sympathy. But also my deepest gratitude that I had the opportunity to know, teach and love Max, Abbey and Charlie. And my deepest gratitude that through this trial I have felt the love of the Lord in an amazing way. Thank you for your sweet examples.

Christina said...

I have been quietly thinking of you and your family---this past year as you have worked thru this trial--you have continued to "Be of Good Cheer" and we all thank you for your desire to choose good and to press forward--
Big Hugs!

Love Family said...

We thought of you and your family as we spent time at the lake this weekend. There was a sweet and bright spirit there--a spirit much like that of Max. Our prayers and love go out to you and your family. You are amazing!

Kyle and Whitney said...

We love you guys. I have been thinking a lot about you this past week, and am so glad to see your optimism. You amaze me with your strength and eternal perspective. When I found out I was pregnant with Gavin I knew I wanted to be the kind of mom you were; easy going, patient, fun, selfless, and loving. I can not imagine how difficult this past year has been for you guys, but I know with your positive outlook on life the future is going to be amazing. I know Max is an angel looking down on you guys and he is so proud of him mom and dad and sisters for their strength this past year. We love you and are so blessed to have you as friends. Cheers to eternal families!